Questions Frequently Asked, and Their Answers


Q: WTF?!?

A: Please submit all formal inquiries in complete sentences with proper punctuation via electronic mail to

Q: How the hell was "murtch" still available as a dotcom?

A: I know, right?

Q: murtch isn't even a word, and yet it's the coolest f--king word of all time. Why is that?

A: It just works, doesn't it?

Q: Do you actually print these shirts yourself, or do you have that really amazing company Printful make them for you and send them out and basically do all the heavy lifting while you sit back and take our hard-earned money, money that we bleed for every single day just to put locally-sourced, organic, non-GMO, fair trade, nose-to-tail food on our tables? Well do you?

A: So that would be a "no" - then a "yes" - and last, "it's just a t-shirt, dude".

Q: What if I decide your stuff sucks?

A: It is our sincere hope that our customers will assess the suckiness of a product prior to purchase.

In the event of an accidental order of something sucky, returns are accepted by our friends at Printful who are really very patient and calm and generally a lot less emotional about the fact you think our stuff sucks.

Q: I just thought of something really cool you ought to put on a shirt and sell and pay me.

A: Again, that's not technically a question, but here are the procedures for submissions:

  1. Before sending anything, think really really really hard about not sending it. This is generally a good first step to prevent any potential awkwardness in the future.
  2. After you decide that it's awesome and you're going to send it over, think another time - maybe for a longer time than during the previous step - about not sending it.
  3. If you remain supremely confident that your idea is totally awesome, and fits with the overall vibe of the murtch, then please do send me something to look at.

If I love your thing, we'll figure the rest out one on one.